Startup jargon you should stop using
Having been part of the startup world for close to two years now, I’ve often come across terms that make me go:
And while I understand the need to stand out, these are just a little too ‘out of the box’ for me:
Ninja / Rockstar
Just go through the first page of AngelList and you’ll know what I mean. These days, I see more and more startups looking for ‘Marketing Ninjas’ or ‘Design Rockstars’. Now, I realise that these startups are just trying to be cool and hope to attract talent using the buzzwords that our generation uses (or thinks they use). But unless you really want a for-hire mercenary to take out your competition, refrain from posting this in the JD. The only acceptable use of the word ‘Ninja’ is when it’s preceded by the words ‘Teenage’ and ‘Mutant’.
Hacker / Hustler
Remember Winston Wolfe from Pulp Fiction? Some say he was the first hacker / hustler / fixer / problem-solver ever. And while the broad domain of his role is a little unclear, essentially he ‘Gets Shit Done’. Marketeers and Sales Reps are the ones who’ve abused these terms most by labeling themselves as ‘Growth Hackers’ and ‘Sales Hustlers’. Guys, we know you want to help out, clean the mess like Mr. Wolfe did. But at least go by something respectable, no? Please?
Hockey Stick / 10x
Again, I’ve never understood Silicon Valley’s obsession with the hockey-stick growth curve. It’s almost inhuman of VC’s to expect each and every product to go viral and hit it out of the park. I mean, some businesses are just not designed to explode like Snapchat, right? Maybe, slow, systematic and controlled growth is better for some products for managing users and resources, you know.
10x, although not exactly related to the hockey-stick (but believed to contribute to it), is a personal favourite and I’ve often found myself using it unknowingly. Essentially, it describes how differentiated or unique a product feature / offering is compared to its previous version or a competitor. So, as I was watching Snapchat clones come out of the Facebook factory one after the other, I used to quietly whisper to myself ‘Hmm, not 10x’. Should stop that [Note to Self].
Iterate / Fail Fast / Lean
Okay, truth be told, I resonate somewhat with this principle — ship something (huge shoutout to MVP), learn quickly and iterate based on those learnings (all encapsulated beautifully by Eric Ries in his best-selling book — The Lean Startup).
But it flips me out when this methodology is misused by ‘experimenters’ to develop half-baked, low-quality stuff under the pretence of staying lean and mean. How can landing pages, paper prototypes or pitch decks serve as a substitute for a product? It’s high time we learned that the P in MVP stands for Product and not Proxy.
X for Y
Ladies and gents, let me introduce you to the most cliched, overhyped and overused startup jargon — X for Y. Think ‘Uber for Photographers’ or ‘Tinder for Movies’, you get the drift. And although I love Product Hunt and Ryan Hoover, I blame them for this. No offense, Ryan.
Again, I get it when startups use this format to describe themselves — it’s catchy and captures the idea in 3 words. That’s also my bone of contention with this, though — the fact that you have to piggyback on the reputation and street cred of another hyper-successful startup to explain YOUR idea. Whatever happened to originality and elevator pitches, guys?
There are so many notable emissions here that I’m tempted to do a Part 2. Might be continued…
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